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herroh!


Monday, August 16, 2010

the last day of the beginning of my life..

this was written July 31

Today is the day that my life as it was officially ends. My dad is getting married. To a woman who is not my mother and I could not be more heartbroken. I play like I'm happy for him to his face and to my mother's face I play indifferent. But inside I'm breaking apart piece by piece. Its killing me to see my family die. Its irreparably broken and fatally wounded. I know we were never a happy happy family but we were together and that was how it was supposed to be.
I have a theory. God ordains marriage right? But a judge grants divorce. I don't think in Gods eyes you can be divorced ever really. Only in mans eyes. So in Gods eyes my dad is cheating on my mom. And that's exactly what it feels like to me.
I could totally be wrong about my theory but it helps me to sort of sort things out for myself. I guess.

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